Are your Friends too “Friendly”? (Tammy Bolt Werthem)

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“A true friend holds you to a higher standard-

he or she expects you to do what you said you were going to do…

a true friend makes you better by his or her presence.” Andy Andrews

I am blessed to have true friends.  Not everyone can say this.  There are some people who go through life never fully experiencing the benefit of having a true friend.

My true friends do this:

  • Pray for me
  • Hold me accountable
  • Sharpen me: Call me on my stuff
  • Model Jesus’ love to me
  • Push me forward
  • Challenge me to seek and be God’s best
  • Live boldly as examples to follow
  • Support me without enabling
  • Give to me, no strings attached
  • Keep it Real

Proverbs are full of verses about friendship and choosing our companions.

Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Sometimes, our friends can be way too friendly.  They look past all our offenses, rather than calling us out.  They clean up our messes and enable us in ways that are harmful.  They support us in staying stuck in sin and destructive behaviors.

“When you tolerate mediocrity in your choice of companions,

you’re going to become more accepting of mediocrity in your own life.” 

Andy Andrews

These kinds of friendships are not serving us.  Are you the friend that seeks company with fools, or are you sticking with the wise ones?

In the Traveler’s Gift, Mastering the Seven Decisions, Andy Andrews discusses the importance of choosing your friends with care.

“I will choose my friends with care.  I am who my friends are.  I speak their language, and I wear their clothes.  I share their opinions and habits.  From this moment forward, I will choose to associate with people whose lives and lifestyles I admire.”

When I joined Alcoholics Anonymous, the old timers (the folks who had a lot of sobriety) told me to stick with the winners.

I have been sticking with the winners for awhile now and they seem to be rubbing off on me.  I am a winner today and I attribute a lot of my WINS to my true friends!

We would love to support you in building lasting friendships.

Please share about your WINS or LOSSES in friendship by leaving a comment below!!

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  • http://suzysammons.com suzy

    Tammy,
    This is fabulous. I’ve been through (going through) a friend transition as I pray to clarify the truths about my motivations in long-standing friendships. I plan to post this on my office wall and use it for my own growth – in both as a friend and as a friended.

    love your stuff.
    )s

  • http://www.facebook.com/tammywerthem Tammy Bolt Werthem

    Suzy, glad it will be a good visual aid for building the true friendships we all need. Thx for your encouragement…

  • http://twitter.com/AleneSnodgrass Alene Snodgrass (@AleneSnodgrass)

    I love this. I totally agree with your points on friends. True friends are so rare!!! Those friends that life us up and spur us on to become more — love them!

  • http://tammyidobelieve.wordpress.com tammyidobelieve

    This is great Tammy! Sometimes the obstacle to having true friends is ourself. We have to be willing to allow others to be “real” with us. That was true for me, but now I am surrounded by many true friends and invite them to be honest even when it’s uncomfortable to me.

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