Your duty smells too. It’s icky. It’s pointless. It’s sloppy. And it belongs in the toilet!
My doodie and my duty smell too. And sadly, I don’t often enough recognize when I’m stepping right into the smelly mess.
I can move through life, going from one task to the next, one relationship to another, and I might just miss the passionate, purposeful, and priority pursuits that God has for me.
How do we get out of duty mode? How do we get out of doing things out of obligation?
Moving from doodie statements like ”I have to” or “I should have” or “He made me”…
to the smell goods of “I want to” or “I am grateful I get to” or “He inspired me to…”.
I have this really good soap that I do my dishes with. It’s Mrs. Meyer’s Basil scent, and it actually makes me want to do the pile of sticky, smelly dishes. I look forward to the happy, sweet, soft, and soothing scent of my dish soap. Okay, that’s a little over the top, but it really is good stuff.
There are many other battling smells in my house. You can imagine, with five kids, especially two boys, ages 15 and 12, the scents that are produced in our home – from all kinds of creative places/situations/articles of clothing/etc.
Anyways, we all know, we like the smells that “doodie free”. We enjoy the softer, gentler, sweeter, more homemade scents of life.
It’s much the same with the aromas we produce with our daily lives.
Living in duty mode smells just like doodie – it’s dead, fecal like, and a waste product.
And living in gratitude, and in a loving, gracious, servant-like attitude smells quite the opposite of doodie.
It’s refreshing. It’s life-giving. It’s uplifting and motivating and appealing to the person on the giving end and the receiving end and to those who are simply sideline observers.
People are watching and listening and longing for the sweet aromas of our lives.
My kids watch how I kiss my husband.
My friends listen to how I speak of the man I love.
My clients and co-workers and business partners watch my actions and attitudes.
My husband listens to my tone of voice on the other end of the phone.
My family watches what I write, what I speak, what I do, and how I do it all.
My kids, husband, friends, and all who watch and listen to my life – they notice. They know. We all do.
There’s a huge difference in living life in obligation mode and in choosing to live in freedom, grace giving, and generous mode.
People around us know the difference. They feel it. And they most certainly smell it.
How I am choosing to live “doodie free” in my marriage today:
When Matt grabs me for a hug, I receive it, full on, and I give back in the most meaningful way.
When Matt asks me to proof his writing, I do so, without a sigh, and I take the time to offer my earnest feedback.
When Matt calls me, I do my best to get out of distraction mode and respond, rather than attempting to do 14 other tasks at the same time.
When Matt asks me to do something for him – for work, around the house, make a phone call -I do so, without resentment, without hesitation, with joy.
When Matt and I are connecting intimately, I take time to communicate my needs, and be an active “player” in our unique connectedness.
To me, this example (in the bedroom for a married couple) is one of the supreme examples of living life in “doodie” mode. A man/or a woman knows, with certainty, when their spouse is not engaged, when their spouse is in “doodie” mode, and it is just not the kind of connection that God created. If this is a place you keep getting stuck, please email me. firstname.lastname@example.org
I would love to share resources, and personal testimony, about how I grew in my understanding of God’s best for our marriage in regards to sexual intimacy. I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some significant victories to share.
Duty will always be, look, and smell just like DOODIE. In all areas of our lives. So, choose and move. Get out of your “doodie” and into your passions and purposeful pursuits. They are worth it, and so are you!
COMMENTS are welcomed!
What area of your marriage/family life has been a struggle for you in regards to feeling like it is a duty? How did you get victory? Or what question do you have that I can support you in answering?
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