“Inseparable”: Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired (by Tammy Bolt Werthem)

“Inseparable”: Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

There comes a moment in an addict or alcoholic’s life where they must choose.   Choose between life and death.  I chose death for too many years and missed out on so much.  My choices could have killed me, but God spared me.  He had a different plan.

The path I was on was dark and full of destruction.  I have been Baker Acted more times than I care to say.  I have been to jail and on probation.  I have lived in my car and in shelters.  I have been off my medication (for bipolar disorder) and in a psychotic episode.  I have been strung out on drugs for too many days to count.

I have hurt the ones I love the most because I chose to be sick and stay stuck in my addiction. I chose to run away from my responsibilities and live a wreck less and care less life.  At times, my life was void of any meaningful relationships and full of emptiness and pain.    

Thankfully, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I wanted to stop destroying myself, stop hurting everyone that cared about me and be free.  I wanted to live a healthy life and be responsible.  I finally recognized that the good life was for me and that the God who loved me had not given up on me. I chose life.

I am in my 8th year of sobriety and new life with Christ.  My life is beyond my wildest dreams.  I am married to an amazing man, who loves the Lord and adores me.  We have three incredible children.  We have a beautiful home and a business that is prospering.  We are connected to a community of believers, who challenge us and love us.  We serve in our church body and seek to be world changers. There are so many gifts, too numerous to count. The internal rewards of peace and hope are less visible, but equally profound.  I no longer wake up to the shame that kept me stuck in my addiction.  I no longer believe the lie that my sin is beyond the grace of God.

So, when an opportunity arises to share my story or to walk beside a woman who is hurting and broken, as a result of her choices, I say YES!  I seek to be a light in this dark world.  There are so many hurting people around us and I want to be the hand that is reaching out to help.

How has an experience in your life been a mechanism in leading someone else out of their pain and heartache?  Feel free to share about your experience in the comments.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/sainvil1984 Savoy Sainvil

    thank you so much tammy for relaying your story and the outcome of the being tired of being sick and tired. We all have an addiction one way or the other. You are a testimony and an example that anyone and I mean anyone can change. for the better. well betta. look at me trying to speak ebonics. i don’t even think I spelled it correctly. but anywho thanks for sharing and it also shows that anyone in the same situation is not alone. I thought I was alone, but now I am blessed to have someone in my life that cares for me and well adores me unconditionally, I really want to say “thank you” because when I was feeling down you and Michelle reassured me that I was loved by the congregation. that was so meaningful to me. I kept smiling. thank you.

    • http://iwokeupyesterday.com iwokeupyesterday

      thanks Savoy, you are an awesome encouragement to me too!!

  • Anonymous

    “I no longer believe the lie that my sin is beyond the grace of God.”

    So many of us are shamed to the point of believing this lie. Thanks for sharing your story and powerfully stating that God and his grace are always greater then any sin we could possibly have in our lives. He washes us white as snow!
    I wish I could say I helped someone out of an abusive relationship. It seems though that, one must recognize first that they are sick and tired of being sick & tired. I keep planting the seeds though hoping one woman will let His word or mine take root. Women are the worst at recognizing their worth and when it comes to abuse (physical, mental, emotional, or verbal) sometimes the abuse needs to extend to their children for them to recognize there is a problem, because most women value their children above themselves. Even then, some are so blinded by what they think is love that they can’t save the kids either. One must get themselves healthy first before they can help someone else. I compare this to being in an airplane that is going down: As instructed by the stewardess/steward, one must place the oxygen mask on themselves first before they assist their child or others.
    Choose to be healthy, regain your power back, stand back and watch the metamorphosis of the person God wants us to be, find your safe zone, make mistakes to learn from but change from it and make a good choice to move forward, choose life. <3

    • http://iwokeupyesterday.com iwokeupyesterday

      Don’t give up on believing that this person, which you speak of, can choose life and step out of this unhealthy dynamic. I hope you will persevere in loving them and continue to show them, through your life and love for them…that they have value, worth and were made for a purpose. thanks for following and reading and for your share on our blog!! tammy

  • Amanda Abell

    I love reading your posts, Tammy…I read all of them. I admire your bravery!

  • Anonymous

    Tammy I adore you. Every time I see you i want to smile and hug you. You are so honest, yet so fun and have a wonderful sense of humor. I love to hear the things that come out of your mouth because sometime I wish I had the guts to be a little stronger. Thank you for always making me feel welcome and comfortable.

    • http://iwokeupyesterday.com iwokeupyesterday

      Thanks for the super duper encouragement…it means the world to me!!!

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