Over this past weekend, I started reading a book I purchased probably eight months ago called “The True Measure of a Woman” by Lisa Bevere. I have a habit of buying books either online or a thrift stores but might not read it right away. God seems to present the right time for me to dive into them. Well, I’m about half way through this book and was going to share about some of the content and my answers to some of her questions but after reading chapter 4 called Solomon’s Search the Lord put on my heart a story He wants me to share. Ok, I’m going to throw up now because this is a very vulnerable story from my past that I’m not proud of and that is exactly why I need to share it.
In Chapter 4, Lisa shares a story about going to a very prosperity focused church in Dallas, Texas and how all the women wore fur coats. After attending for a while, she started desiring a fur coat even to the point of her husband buying into the idea that God wants only the best for his wife. This story got me thinking about a similar event that happened in my life in 2006.
In October 2006, my family went on a rewards cruise with Arbonne International. I had been part of this company since 2002 and had now achieved the top-level therefore earning the company trip for the year. While on the cruise, they had a presentation of the shopping opportunities while in the different ports of call.
The one that got my attention was the diamond presentation in Mazaltan, Mexico. I quickly turned to Mark and said I need an upgrade on my wedding ring for our 10 year anniversary. I truly remember saying I’m an NVP now and need to look the part.
My original wedding ring was gold and had just a small 1 carat diamond in it. As we got to the port, we went to the diamond store and picked out a platinum setting and the diamond to match. I was very excited and got caught up in it all. At my position in Arbonne now, I was making enough money each month to pay off the $6,000 price tag in one month. (ok, I’m throwing up now)
I really got caught up in the stuff that came along with this kind of leadership in the company. The wealth, recognition, influence and appreciation was my drive. My whole value was caught up in it and it wasn’t soon after that God started the dwindling away of my business. The following year was probably the worst in my life. God was breaking me on all sides. I had manipulated my success and had used it to negatively influence many people including my wonderful husband.
In 2009 after going through hell and back, God began restoring me back to himself as I stopped everything to be in His word to renew my mind, my spirit, and my heart towards His ways. I’ve spoken about some of this in previous posts. While studying in the book of Daniel and learning about Babylon’s influence on the society at the time, it got me thinking about the wedding rings. My original wedding ring that I had excused as not good enough in 2006 was purchased ten years before for $1,000 which was all the money my husband had in his savings account. You see, when Mark got money for a birthdays or other holidays most of it went into a savings account. This was the money that he used to buy my original wedding ring. He was 21 years old and his whole savings from growing up paid for my ring. (ok, I just got sick again).
The Lord placed this realization in my spirit to help me realize how much Mark sacrificed and also how much Jesus had sacrificed to save me and I was not valuing any of it at that time.
Lord you are more costly than gold
Lord you are more beautiful than diamonds
And nothing I desire compares with you