More Beautiful Than Diamonds by Michelle D. Howe

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Lord you are more beautiful than diamonds and nothing compares with you.

Over this past weekend, I started reading a book I purchased probably eight months ago called “The True Measure of a Woman” by Lisa Bevere.  I have a habit of buying books either online or a thrift stores but might not read it right away.  God seems to present the right time for me to dive into them.  Well, I’m about half way through this book and was going to share about some of the content and my answers to some of her questions but after reading chapter 4 called Solomon’s Search the Lord put on my heart a story He wants me to share.  Ok, I’m going to throw up now because this is a very vulnerable story from my past that I’m not proud of and that is exactly why I need to share it. 

In Chapter 4, Lisa shares a story about going to a very prosperity focused church in Dallas, Texas and how all the women wore fur coats.  After attending for a while, she started desiring a fur coat even to the point of her husband buying into the idea that God wants only the best for his wife.  This story got me thinking about a similar event that happened in my life in 2006.

In October 2006, my family went on a rewards cruise with Arbonne International.  I had been part of this company since 2002 and had now achieved the top-level therefore earning the company trip for the year.  While on the cruise, they had a presentation of the shopping opportunities while in the different ports of call. 

The one that got my attention was the diamond presentation in Mazaltan, Mexico.  I quickly turned to Mark and said I need an upgrade on my wedding ring for our 10 year anniversary.  I truly remember saying I’m an NVP now and need to look the part. 

My original wedding ring was gold and had just a small 1 carat diamond in it.  As we got to the port, we went to the diamond store and picked out a platinum setting and the diamond to match.  I was very excited and got caught up in it all.  At my position in Arbonne now, I was making enough money each month to pay off the $6,000 price tag in one month.  (ok, I’m throwing up now)

I really got caught up in the stuff that came along with this kind of leadership in the company.  The wealth, recognition, influence and appreciation was my drive.  My whole value was caught up in it and it wasn’t soon after that God started the dwindling away of my business.  The following year was probably the worst in my life.  God was breaking me on all sides.  I had manipulated my success and had used it to negatively influence many people including my wonderful husband. 

In 2009 after going through hell and back, God began restoring me back to himself as I stopped everything to be in His word to renew my mind, my spirit, and my heart towards His ways.  I’ve spoken about some of this in previous posts.  While studying in the book of Daniel and learning about Babylon’s influence on the society at the time, it got me thinking about the wedding rings.  My original wedding ring that I had excused as not good enough in 2006 was purchased ten years before for $1,000 which was all the money my husband had in his savings account.  You see, when Mark got money for a birthdays or other holidays most of it went into a savings account.  This was the money that he used to buy my original wedding ring.  He was 21 years old and his whole savings from growing up paid for my ring.  (ok, I just got sick again).

The Lord placed this realization in my spirit to help me realize how much Mark sacrificed and also how much Jesus had sacrificed to save me and I was not valuing any of it at that time. 

Lord you are more precious than silver
Lord you are more costly than gold
Lord you are more beautiful than diamonds
And nothing I desire compares with you
 
King Solomon had everything.  All the riches he could ever imagine and said in Ecclesiastes 2:11, “Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” 
 
Solomon had come to realize that all he had acquired would not endure forever.  The most valuable thing we can acquire is more of Jesus.
 
This was a hard lesson to learn that my value is not with the stuff of life but in Christ within me.  Today I am accepted, loved and adored because Jesus in me is more beautiful than any diamond I could ever buy and His love is eternal. 
 
Not sure what you are desiring right now especially during the holiday season but I want you to remember that you are not what you own.  You belong to Him and He is more concerned with your condition than your comfort. 
 
At the end of the chapter, Lisa writes a powerful prayer of forgiveness.  I ask that if this is an area you are currently struggling in to pray this prayer.  You will be blessed!!!
 
Father God, forgive me for the times I measured my self-worth by what I possess.  Forgive me for trying to hold on to things.  Forgive me for the times I grabbed and reached for more.  Search my heart and expose any jealousy by the light of Your Word.  Quicken in me the discernment to realize when greed is trying to attack me with discontentment.  God, I want only the blessings You provide for me.  Develop godliness with contentment in my life.  Forgive me for making those around me feel that the measure of their affections was in the gifts they gave.  i cast off the false weight of possessions and press on to Your true measure.  I refuse to trust in riches.  I place my trust in You.  Let me thrive with the righteous! In Jesus name, amen. 
 
I woke up yesterday and wanted to sell that ring but God said no you will use it as a reminder of what you left behind and what is waiting for you in the future.  Praise you Lord for Your love endures forever!!!  Michelle :-)
 
 
  • judy sapusek

    Michelle..thanks for sharing…we had a similar experience with our “dream house!” He may give you the desire of your hearts
    but he can also change those desires when you realize that financial bondage is the worse! Thanks for sharing….we all have those…if I could do it over stories! If we could turn back the time and have a redo….but if we hadn’t gone through all that we would have zero compassion for others that have experienced the same! Thanks for sharing your heart!

    • http://iwokeupyesterday.com iwokeupyesterday

      Thanks Judy. I appreciate your comment. Redo would be nice but God wanted me to learn the lesson and create something new for His Glory. Thank you sister for your love, encouragement and support. :-)

      • http://hoadley sheila

        I love your heart and your honesty. You have so much more depth and understanding because of those refining years! Thank you for sharing and reminding me that our value does not come from the stuff of life. I could easily get caught up in the “:new house” syndrome. :)

  • Marina

    Thank you for sharing Michelle. I’ve struggled with that many times. My greater struggle is keeping myself from believing the lie that my value is associated with my accomplishments (i.e. college degree, personal/professional goals). It’s been hard for me to accept that I am valuable to Christ and because of Christ, and it has nothing to do with what I have accomplished in my life or failed to accomplish.

    Thank you for being honest, open, caring and vulnerable.

  • Anonymous

    Michelle, Thank you for sharing your story. It was powerful and I will challenge myself to look within myself, where and when I’ve put or allowed myself to be in that position. I know I’m in a much different place now, however years ago I do see my heart not at pure as it is now. Thank you for you insight and perspective, that will allow me to be in examination of my own life and being in the glory of god. I am excited for the holiday season this year, for my family is not looking to exchange ‘the riches’ for one another but spread holiday cheer and abundance all around. God bless you and your courage to be vulnerable for another human kind’s growth. Love you my dear friend! Tanya Alexander

  • LeAnn Weiss-Rupard

    Awesome reminder. Thanks for your vulnerability, Michelle! Great job!

    • http://iwokeupyesterday.com iwokeupyesterday

      Wow thanks LeAnn. Great to have your feedback. Would love to chat sometime and get catch up. Michelle

  • http://disciplegideon.wordpress.com disciplegideon

    Thank you for sharing such a personal testimony. It is important sometimes to look back to see just how far our Savior has carried us. The healing is in the remembering sometimes. It can be your healing; but by sharing, it becomes healing for us all!
    I know that I too get sick, second guess myself, question the need to share such personal information…but, God always reminds me that this is how we truly heal…together!
    May the Lord continue to bless you and keep living our loud.

    • http://iwokeupyesterday.com iwokeupyesterday

      Thank you again for your feedback. It is so valuable and I appreciate it everytime. Many blessings, Michelle :-)

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