Why I Won’t Ask for Help? Because I think that I am beyond help. (3/5 by Tammy Bolt Werthem)
Before I got sober, I had a hard time asking for help because I did not value myself as God values me. I spent so many years as a sick and suffering alcoholic and got used to being sick. The “ISM” of alcoholism had defined who I was and kept me stuck in a vicious cycle. In addition, I suffered from bipolar disorder and let this be a hindrance to my recovery because I failed to accept the help that was readily available. I was much like the man in the story below:
From John 5, The Healing at the pool:
53 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed.] 5 One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
This mindset that I possessed, I AM BEYOND HELP, was a lie from the enemy. As long as I kept believing that I was too sick, too far gone, too messed up, too broken, then I had an excuse to keep screwing up my life. It took a series of painful experiences and losses to bring me to the place of true surrender. There were so many moments in my destructive life that could have been avoided if I had asked for help and been open to receive help.
There is always someone who wants to help us, but a lot of the times we have to get out of the way and start believing that we are worth helping.
I am so glad that I woke up yesterday and decided to pick up my mat and walk!!
What areas of your life are you refusing to be helped? Do you need to believe that you are worthy of help? You are worth it!!!