The term “soul mates” has been around a very long time. The concept of having one person in all the world with whom you share great love, closeness, and connection (mentally, physically and spiritually) is a notion that has penetrated popular culture.

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato is believed to be the first person to write about an “other half,” the missing person in one’s life. From his concept came the great loves we have grown up reading about: Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Ken and Barbie.

The movies are filled with stories of people searching for their one true love and never feeling fulfilled until the moment their soul mate appears. Now, I’m a romantic and I love hearing stories of true love. Hearing about the couple who were engaged on their first date because they “just knew” makes me smile.

But is there really only one person for everyone? Do each of us have a soul mate? Or is it a Hollywood tale of love not rooted in reality?

If I had been asked when I was younger if I believed in soul mates I would have said “maybe,” as I am ever the skeptic. Now however, I would answer “no.”

Here’s why: I have come to believe that the concept of soul mates is not scriptural. Yes, there are people God directed very clearly to be married—Joseph and Mary, Hosea and Gomer, for example but those were more the exceptions than the rule.

Spending our lives seeking and hoping for that one true person is not a Biblical concept and it often leads to us feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. The concept of Plato’s “other half” assumes that we as individuals are not whole or complete unless we have another person to “finish” us. We need a Jerry Maguire “you complete me” moment to feel truly loved and whole. I think that is a lie.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17. If we are in Christ we are not incomplete, waiting for a man or woman to make us whole. We are new creations, alive in Christ.

The movies and the concept of soul mates feed us a lie that when, and only when, we find our other half we will be happy. I believe relationships contribute greatly to our happiness and are crucial. I don’t however, subscribe to the belief that there is only one person who can make us happy. Nor should our contentment be reliant upon a romantic relationship (or lack thereof).

I have known of many people personally who God has spoken directly to about who they should marry and when. I believe God can and does give specific guidance when it comes to choosing a spouse. It’s just that sometimes He is more specific than other times. Sometimes He makes a recommendation, sometimes He gives us a command, and still other times He lets us choose.

That’s right, sometimes we get to choose. Before marrying my husband, my ex-boyfriend re-appeared and essentially asked me to marry him. As I prayed, I felt that God was letting me make the decision (which was unsettling at the time). I chose wisely.

I have an awesome marriage. I would call Jonathan my soul mate but not by the Hollywood definition. He is my soul mate because I chose him. Just as I chose to follow Christ and commit my life to Him, I have done the same with my husband. Jonathan is my soul mate because everyday he serves me and his love and selflessness compels me to do the same. He is my soul mate because we are pursuing Christ separately and together.

We have real love, not movie love. We were not two broken halves when we were married, like Plato would have you believe. We were two individuals whole in Christ coming together out of our love for one another and God first. That is finding one’s soul mate. That’s the stuff movies should be made of…that is true love.

Do you agree or disagree? Do you believe in soul mates? Do you have one? What do you think God says about it?

Bio: Nicole Cottrell is one righteous (or at least trying to be righteous) babe. She is trained in the fine art of button-pushing and uses her skills daily on her blog Modern Reject. She is happily married to one amazing man and together they have been blessed with three amazing kids.

A Big THANKS to Nicole for taking the time to guest post.  She has an awesome blog, which you can follow here:  http://modernreject.com

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