I still consider myself a newlywed. Jacob and I celebrated five years of marriage in June 2011. Marriage is hard work and sometimes even a battle. The statistics for lasting marriages are not real promising. The “Americans for Divorce Reform” estimates that probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce.
Money problems are often cited as the number one cause of divorce in America, but it’s impossible to calculate because they are part of a larger cause usually called ‘irreconcilable differences’, which basically means that couple couldn’t get along. Another key cause is adultery, with an estimated quarter of marriages dissolving for this reason. Surprisingly, very few people cite outright abuse as a cause of divorce. (from www.divorceguide.com)
I have chosen to fight for my marriage and seek to understand my husbands unique struggles. Thankfully, we have a great support system through our church and our close friendships. Healthy marriages are modeled for us and we are held accountable in our relationship. I believe with all my heart, that our relationship will last because Christ is the center and we seek to honor Him and live our lives to serve and glorify Him.
Jacob and I have had our share of conflict and most of our conflict is from raising kids (step-parenting) and money issues. Another struggle we share is both being visually stimulated. Getting real about this has set us free and both of us have had healing and great success in overcoming this battle. In my case, I was exposed to pornography at a young age. In my adult life, I chose to look at porn as a means of escaping painful emotions, only to exacerbate this pain, creating even more shame. This is a vicious cycle and so many people struggle silently with this issue. If only we (as a church) could be more real about this issue and seek to protect ourselves, our husbands and children from exposure to pornography.
If this is an issue in your marriage or relationship, please seek help today and tell a friend, who will love you and hold you accountable. Also, take action to protect your family by using internet filters such as Safe Eyes or K9 to block pornographic images.
Some really helpful books that helped us in our marriage are:
Every Man’s Battle (Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time)
Written by Stephen Arterburn
Every Woman’s Battle: Discovering God’s Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment
Written by Shannon Ethridge