1. ”Are you pregnant?”
If you are uncertain about the answer, you very likely do not want to ask this question. And if you already know the answer, you don’t need to ask it either. I asked a woman once “when are you going to have your baby?” and she said, “I had my baby 15 months ago.” Since that day, I do not ask. I wait for the information to just come out of her mouth.
2. ”Can I touch your belly?” and even better…”Can I KISS your belly?”
There is something called “personal space” that we all have, and that is a safe place that should be honored – and even more so while a woman is pregnant.
3. ”My husband has a ‘thing’ for pregnant women.”
And yes, this was said, to a friend, by a woman, about her husband, who was standing right there next to her. What response could you possibly give to that?
4. ”Oh wow! Your face is really filling in.”
There must be a special size that the person thinks your face should be, and the space is just right today. Any possibly response I can think of that I would have wanted to say to this person is not kind, so I am choosing not to share.
5. ”Oh, let me tell you about my horrible experience in labor and delivery!”
“Yes, please do. That would be so incredibly helpful if you could bless me in that way. I have no anxieties about delivering the baby at this point, so maybe you could help me come up with some things I can be worried about.”
6. ”You look like you could have that baby any day now.”
Even if my due date is tomorrow, you are basically telling me that I am HUGE, and I don’t really need to hear that, since I kind of know that. And if my due date is still 4 months away, you basically have reduced my self esteem to below zero.
7. ”You are definitely having a boy. I carried just like that.”
“Awesome! I will let the doctor know. I will also repaint the nursery and take back all those girl clothes from the shower. Thank you so much for your hopefully accurate prediction.”
8. ” Why haven’t you had that baby yet?”
“Well, I still have some rooms in the house to organize. Some of the drawers in my kitchen are still cluttered. And I wanted to be asked this question 100 more times before I actually have the baby. You are number 98, so I imagine the baby will come very soon.”
9. ”You should do _______________ and you will guaranteed go into labor!”
This ___________ can be filled at your discretion. Some things that I remember hearing: jumping jacks, running, jumping on a trampoline, drinking really gross oil (forget what kind of oil that is - I don’t think it is the kind you put in a car though), have sex, and there are many more. Feel free to add your _________ into the COMMENTS section below.
10. YOU GET TO COMMENT: What is the best thing you heard while pregnant that you really found NOT helpful?